Resurrecting gmail inbox

E-mail seems to be every productivity guru's enemy. "They take time away from your deep thoughts" they tell you in a gruff voice. "You have to schedule a time block for email, so it doesnt hamper your day otherwise"  they instruct. They make it seem like e-mail is interesting and irresistible- like candy or ice-cream- something you need willpower to keep away from.

But really, when was the last time you read an interesting e-mail?

Except for the fact that its something to do when you dont feel like doing anything else, why do we keep going to email? Work happens over email sure, but how often do you check your personal gmail? And do you remember the time someone you know e-mailed you? All the emails I get are from brands, companies  or spammers. Email is now a transactional space where we get information or are shown advertisements.  Personal communication happens on Whatsapp I suppose, or I think doesnt happen at all.

E-mails are the new handwritten letters- cute when you think about it, but really no one does it.
Our gmail inboxes are now the virtual equivalent of old drawers- treasures at the bottom but crap like receipts floating at the top.

So now we have developed the habit of going to gmail every couple of hours, but there is absolutely nothing there if you discount the ads and spam. How do we deal with this?

The answer is one word: Newsletters

Sensible people saying sensible stuff, to a bunch of similar people.  Its not the same as a personalised long mail about everything and nothing at the same time, but I suppose in the age of tik-tok, its a blessing.

The point of the post

Just to keep the habit going.
Just to clear the cobwebs in my mind.
Just to make sure my brain doesnt go rusty and little pieces of rust fall into other thoughts
Just to reassure myself I am writing, that it is making a difference
Just to try and stir up my lazy viscous brain into pushing up some interesting ideas
Nudging it to check if it can release some gem that has been lodged in between some worries.
Gently clearing the dirt, like a passionate archaelogist to reveal some ancient treasure.
Like a sculptor chiseling a masterpiece from a block of stone.
But what do you know?
Looks like my brain isnt interested in going beyond cliches.

Tiger in the woods

Tadoba, Pench, Ranthambore, Bandipur

When you see these names you immediately think of tigers. Majestic, beautiful and ruthless creatures that you will get to see for a few seconds or a few minutes depending on your luck. The morning safari starts with an air of repressed excitement and as the tour guides race across the safari roads, you get caught in the adrenaline too- they heard a call somewhere, they spotted pug marks here, the tiger must be around etc. And usually this culminates in a sighting, complete with quiet gasps and respectful wows. In case you are one of the unlucky jeeps you roam around, your spirits dipping, before the guide announces in a fake cheerful voice that you will see the tiger on our next safari. 

After a few of these safaris I cant help be underwhelmed and disappointed at how everything rides on that one elusive tiger being spotted. Sure its a tiger safari, thats what you are paying for, but the forest isnt just the tigers. How often do you see deer in the city? Arent wild dogs just as exotic to us ? And all national parks have a lake where you can see various kinds of birds and many animals come to drink water. Isnt that sight worth something? 

By racing around competing with other jeeps to spot the tiger, how are we making this any different from what we do back in our office? Fixing on a target and ignoring everything else to chase that one elusive thing that becomes a bragging currency once you come back.  

My niece who loves all animals gives the same kind of attention to a tiger, as she does to a cat. Sitting with her and watching a house cat made me realise that most animals are interesting if we pay enough attention to them. And I do that on my safaris, if the others arent in a frenzy to catch a tiger. Watching a troop of monkeys play with their young ones, observing animals drinking water, and seeing birds perform some kind of routine that only they understand. And I come back from the safari feeling content, regardless of whether the tiger was spotted ( or striped :D ) 

If you ever go on a tiger safari, look for the tiger, and be excited if you get to spot it. But in the heat of the chase, dont miss the forest for the tigers. 

Painting oneself into a corner

How many times have we not done things we might have wanted to do because we told ourselves " I am not THAT kind of a person". It could be anything- going to gym to beef up, suddenly trying to dress better,  being different from what you were yesterday, anything at all.

Staying true to yourself is hard. Staying true to stories you tell yourself is much easier.

The mind resists anytime it needs to change, it conjures up dangerous consequences that are either not true or might happen but arent as a big a deal as your mind seems to imply.

And thus it is, that we stay the same- year after year, comfortingly, dully the same. After all, thats who we are, right?

Each year we end up in the same spot we started, perhaps having taken a few steps forward but inevitably slide backward to the zone of where one is expected to be.

When you start exercising after long you feel pain in your muscles called DOMS. Most of us enjoy the reminder the pain signals- that you are starting to exercise. We encounter resistance once we have decided to change, and after an initial bout, slip back into old ways of thinking. Consider this resistance as sweet as DOMS.  Yes, of course its painful, but remember , its just a test to see if you are worth what lays ahead.

You can get out of the corner you painted yourself into, if you dont mind the mess you make on your way out.

The greatest city in the planet

"Its not a city, its an emotion. The city has a spirit which cannot be captured in words, it needs to be experienced"

Know which city I am talking about? Me neither. Because these kinds of lines can be applied to any city. The spirit of the people, the kindness in times of crisis etc will work on one city as well as it does on another. A few months back, after a particularly bad spell of rains, Chennai was incapacitated. And people came forward in droves to help. Volunteer centres sprang up at pivotal locations, people donated their time and money and ensured that the situation didnt go unmanageable.  A few years back when Mumbai was flooded, we heard stories of how people opened up their homes to strangers who were stranded on the roads, heartwarming stories were published in news papers about people coming forward selflessly to assist others. More recently, when the tragic fire broke out in a temple in Kerala, people queued up to donate blood.

What we do not acknowledge is that this behaviour is not unique to these cities. This is how people in general behave. Unless they are driven to fear for their families and loved ones, people always come forward to help others in crisis. Unless they are hiding behind the table fearing for their own life, they are always outside trying to improve the situation. 

This is not to say that any particular individual will come out or stay in. But when we take a large  sample, there are always enough people who come out to label the city helpful and kind. By this I do not intend to trivialise the fact that so many people came forward to assist, I only mean to say that they would have done so if they were in other cities as well. 

It is immensely satisfying to make a meme or a poster for the way your city rose up to a particular occasion, and while is nothing wrong in feeling happy or proud, realise  that what you are celebrating is not the spirit of a particular city , but that of mankind. 

Sunday evening Azures, ceruleans and prussians

"Social media bullshit expands to fill your time" - Me

My version of Parkinson's law is especially debilitating for me as I sit for hours on end surfing myself into a stupor. Entire afternoons get consumed, precious mornings disappear like dew under a harsh sun, leaving no trace of their existence.  Sometimes I wonder how people with an active FB, twitter AND instagram account manage to peel themselves off their laptops and get anything done. I  imagine I would be like one of those experimental lab rats with electrodes wired to their brains that give them a jolt of pleasure everytime they pull a lever. I would have a glazed, vaguely happy expression and would mindlessly keep pulling the lever ( or pressing some link) as my meandering instagram searches take me to great photos, great artists and way down the rabbithole. 

"You present a particularly morbid vision of social media", you complain. "Not everything on social media is bullshit. There are tons of knowledgeable articles and a lot of inspiration to be found on these pages". Of course, there is no doubt that there is inspiration and motivational articles. A glimpse at " Pocket Recommended" would  tell you that everyone is reading those articles like " The one habit you need to acquire to become super productive" or " Ten things you need to do after 10PM" or " Are you doing this every morning or you not having control of your day" and other similar ones. If only reading that one article could make us more productive, we would have not foolishly continued reading the other 10,000 that came after it. Or follow these sites on FB to get "your daily dose of motivation"

I have always been a vocal opponent of posting on FB , claiming it is mainly there for flaunting and image-crafting ( Term borrowed from Wait but Why). If you use FB to mildly deceive others into thinking you are a certain kind of person, you use Pinterest to deceive yourself that you are a certain kind of person. It is terrifying. I remember I used to try and beat the Sunday evening blues by losing myself in Pinterest. Pinning the perfect home, the perfect vacations, the perfect hairstyle etc. I used to do that for weeks, without realising that my hair was no better than it was few weeks earlier,  my home was still a dump and for all my Paris and Peru pins, I was stuck in Gurgaon.  And I do not know if it was a co-incidence, but I lost my Pinterest habit when I genuinely started traveling  ( not too much, an average of a trip per month), even if most of them were weekend trips. 

And as  I find myself going back to Pinteresty stuff again, it scares me. 

It seems like we use these sites as crutches or substitutes for actual work or travel. You have been doing Chinese take-away all week? Here, pin a healthy smoothie and feel better. No travel plans in the near future? No problem here are a dozen beautiful homes with a sea view that you can travel to. It is no one's fault. Obviously, it is easy to get dragged into this whirlpool of social media. And it provides the perfect escape. Unfortunately, the problem with the likes of Instagram is that eventually your battery drains out and you are left with your unglamorous self. 

What to expect when you are expecting a lot! ( hint: disappointment)

Expectations, ambition, content and wishing for happiness. All of us have these in varying degrees. Some of us are willing to give up ambition for contentment, while some are willing to sacrifice  happiness to achieve our ambitions. I don't know which is right- giving up on your happiness to achieve something good ( assuming your ambition has some good for the world as well)  or living a happy content life but one that ultimately amounts to nothing. Both are scary in their own way and both have their appeal. 

  A cookie cutter life might not be glamorous -the  one with a happy family and a weekend movie and mall visits and EMIs and work stress, commute, once a year vacations- mild happiness with surges of joy and sadness. But I do see the charm of it too. Even travel bloggers who have been on the move for many years start to crave for a base- that familiar grocer, the hairstylist who knows how you like it ( your hairstyle:P ) etc. There is something to be said about having  a relaxing coffee in your balcony overlooking whatever view your salary can afford. 

The other exotic alternative and the stuff of inspirational articles - a high flying career that is somehow intellectually satisfying, with enough time for horizon expanding travels seems a little far fetched- at least at this point. But that does not stop us from wishing for it. I suspect that this desire will somehow be my downfall- If ( or when ) I realise in my middle age that I have missed the bus on the exotic lifestyle, my disappointment will be so great that will not relish whatever enjoyment I can get from my current one. 

And that is the crux of the whole thing,

It does not matter whether you live the cookie cutter life or the exotic life as long as it is in line with your expectations. If you are one who chooses contentment and happiness over fame and ambition, you will be happy with the most typical of lives. The vanilla option. The default option if you live i a developed country or are rich in a developing country and have average luck.    If on the other hand you choose fame and ambition and want to make a difference, that is going to take a lot of effort. 

But if like me, you want fulfilment and exoticness but dont want to work for it, you are in for big trouble.