Intolerance is not in our culture

The recent furore over the Section 377 ruling with the major political party opposing the acceptance of homosexuality, stating that it is against our culture, while disappointing is not really much of a surprise.  We have seen it happen multiple times- women going to pubs was seen as an affront to culture, speaking about pre-marital sex was considered a moral crime  and so was celebrating Valentine's day. Whether the party really believes that these are all against  Indian culture or if they are doing it to appeal to some section of the votebank, is anybody's guess.

But what they are not considering is the fact that "culture" as we speak of it today is not  fixed- it is something fluid and dynamic, something that evolves as we move towards being a different and progressive society. We are currently not upholding the culture of the Indus valley civilisation, what we consider as culture is really an amalgamation of contributions from various past societies, each of whom have added their flavour.

If we were to stick to rigidities and not change anything we would be living in the very ancient past- which if the texts are to be believed, was a much freer society than today. Prostitutes were legal and respected, women were allowed to have more than one husband, and after the practice of one husband set in, they were allowed to have children by other men with the consent of the husband. Somewhere along the line, these rules shifted to become more rigid , possibly because the styles of living changed.  In those days, transgenders, eunuchs and other different people were respected and treated alike. Devdutt Patnaik has eloquently written about the importance of Shikandin- neither a man nor a woman, in the Mahabharata, and the many instances of transgenders in other texts such as Ramayana. Arjuna, who is one of the most revered heroes of the mythologies, spent a year as a eunuch. While it was not the best way to live, he certainly seems to have had much more respect than a gay person does in modern India.

And this is not an isolated incident. Women wearing western clothes is considered erosion of Indian culture. However using televisions, smartphones and BMWs is not. While men strut around in their T-shirts and fancy cars, women are supposed to be sitting at home in sarees upholding Indian culture.  The actress who spoke in public for the use of condoms to prevent AIDS, was insulted and humiliated with brooms and chappals, as pre-marital sex was against Tamil culture. Apparently beating unarmed women with brooms and chappals was very much a part of Tamil culture. And incidentally, Tiruchengode- a place in TN supposedly has amongst the highest AIDS ratios in the country.  While people conveniently give up their culture for convenience, there seems to be a huge uproar when other people give up theirs. Slavery, sati system, dowry system, and untouchability were all a part of the past. Should we continue clinging to them ridiculously as giving them up would mean that we are disowning our past?

This is not to say that we shun everything in our quest for progression and convenience. A lot of people strive to protect parts of their culture-specially when it is art. Usually a lost craft, a disappearing style of music or dance, or a language which is fast moving into obscurity are  forms of art that people cherish and therefore, struggle to preserve. That is preserving beauty for the sake of beauty.  There is no reason hold on  to silly practices that bring no joy to anyone and have no tangible use.

What  is even more irksome is that all this is done under the name of Hinduism. It is one of the most tolerant systems in the world. It imposes no restrictions, judges no one and offers everyone a guidance to lead a good life. So, this is for all the bigots- be as judgemental,  homophobic and intolerant as you wish to be. But dont blame it on the gods. They are all inclusive.

No one knows who killed Aarushi..

.. but its clear the Talwars were killed by the media.  Goes a status update by Ramesh Srivats, a popular social media personality.


I completely agree. I have ranted earlier about the uselessness of the Indian media, but they seem to be stooping even lower than the abysmally low standards they have set for themselves. In this case, they have assumed the worst in every human being involved in the case- it was conjectured that the victim- a Delhi schoolgirl was involved in an affair with their old cook, the father, who along with his wife, murdered his daughter, had an affair with someone else, the mother is a stone who assisted her husband in murdering her own child, while being aware of her husband having an affair.

Maybe its the middle class educated person in me speaking- but none of this makes any sense. I refuse to believe that parents who had a normal relationship with their daughter and bought her gifts on her birthday would do something gruesome the same night. I refuse to believe that the parents would come together and plot the murder of their child.  You can argue taht there are psychopaths everywhere and I am biased because of their education/affluence. I would have agreed had it been the mother killing her child or the father killing the child. Two psychopaths getting together, staying married, leading a happy normal family life and suddenly deciding to gruesomely murder their daughter just doesnt make sense. And most importantly the cook murder business makes no sense.  It is just the kind of nonsense an impulsive murderer would do, not a carefully manipulative psychopath. If nothing, I think I can vouch for teh Talwars' intelligence- if two doctors are planning a murder, they wouldnt do such a botchy job. And the "honour killing" which our media has taken a fancy to- seems so beyond reality.

Regardless of my opinions, the world is a strange place and any thing is possible- the way the media handled this was shameful, to say the least. With absolutely no benefit to the accused, with no concern about the fact that they might be parents grieving the death of their only daughter, they were baying for stories like a bunch of bloodthirsty wolves.  All journalistic ethics and human compassion flew out the window as they competed with each other to produce the most sensationalist bit of this whole episode. If one said the doctor had an affair, teh other rushed to accuse the mother of being a stone, and yet another channel couldnt stop talking about the affair the young school girl had with teh cook. No one stopped to think what a horrid thing this was to do- IF the Talwars were pronounced innocent by the court. Now that they have been proven guilty, it puts things in a different spin. Am sure very soon we will hear the distinguished opinions of Alyque Padamsee and Chetan Bhagat on the matter of parents killing their own kids.  But had they been proven innocent, will the media ever realise that not only did they act so insensitively towards two perfectly decent people who had lost their daughter, but also defamed them and changed their lives so much for the worse? Would they have been able to get back to regular life ?

And from what little I have read of the case, there seem to be too many holes.  Having watched a few episodes of  " The Practice" I would have thought it wouldnt pass muster in the courts.  Anyways I dont know.  This post is not to debate whether the judgement was right or wrong. This is about how the media pronounced them guilty long before the courts did. And did so in the most sensationalist way possible, that no one involved in the story got out unscathed. Its as if they thought " Hmm, whats the worst thing this person can do in this situation?" and went right ahead and accused them of that.

We call them the watchdogs of the society, but sometimes they become the bloodthirsty hounds we all fear.

PS: I was reading about this case, after writing this post and one of the links said " the truth is an inadequate weapon".

City of Djinns

As a typical South Indian (think- half Saree and jasmine flowers)  with a love for filter coffee and curd rice, it came as much as  a surprise to me as it it to my friends that I love Delhi so much.  Yes, Delhi is filled with Punjabi snobbish types, yes, Delhi is a rape capital and makes you feel extremely unsafe, and most definitely yes- I am seen as a "Saawth Indian" by most Delhi-ites ( Most of whom think Cochin is in Tamil Nadu and that we eat dosa and zaambar for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  But not to sell them short- for the longest time anyone above the Vindhyas was "Hindi" to us and Sardarjis were all fools . I am glad to say I have changed my opinion about one at least :P ). Most of the stereotypes about Delhi are unfortunately true- it is every bit a City of Sperms and most of them cant think of/imagine that there is life outside Delhi.

Having lived near the city for a couple of years however has made me see things a little bit differently though- it helps that the city is so beautiful.  Most of my earlier memories of the city are from my campus days when we used it as a transit point and therefore all I remember are the sweaty dirty railway stations, the creepy men around the Delhi stations and the general poverty. But most of the rest of Delhi is so beautiful and so bloody green- it would put certain parts of Bangalore to shame ( the Bangalore of my childhood and the Bangalore of my imagination, mostly. Real Bangalore is beautiful in parts too, but not half as much as I imagine it to be). Delhi winters in morning is definitely amongst the most beautiful things I have seen- So much greenery shrouded in fog gives a sort of a mystical fairy tale quality to the place.  Even commuting in this city seems like traveling.

Delhi to me is spending afternoons wandering through Dilli haat and looking at beautiful handicrafts. Delhi to me is meandering through random markets and coming across exotic spices, randomly beautiful pottery, heavenly roadside tea and brilliant paranthas and pani-puris. Delhi to me is the bustling madness of Chandni chowk- insanely great food  and sweets and a view of the Red Fort. Delhi is the colorful summer markets of Sarojini which  transforms  into a  more solemn winter market by October. Delhi, to me is the luxury of space- roads are wider than in most cities, homes are so spacious and there are parks in every streetcorner that would be bigger than Sanjay Gandhi national park.

And the best part of Delhi is all the history it has soaked up without making such a big deal of it. There are monuments and old ruins everywhere- here you see one tomb of some poet where the neighbourhood kids play street cricket, few blocks away is another ruin where middle aged men chill out with their drinks. There are so many many ruins that pop up unannounced as you drive, with no one to care for them, no one to brand them as tourist spots and charge a few bucks to enter. One of the best spots I have been to in Delhi is a tomb of some obscure Khan oposite the Qutab. The place is on a level higher than the road, so at once you are in an old structure from where you can see the Delhi traffic but should you choose to not see it , you can look straight ahead at the beautiful Qutab and the greenery around. That is the image I carry when I think of Delhi.  William Dalrymple ( whose book I have just started reading, which is the inspiration for this post) compares the city to Rome and Istanbul- modern cities which so much of history in them. While I wouldnt go so far as to compare it to Istanbul ( despite never having been there) Delhi does have enough crumbling ruins and monuments to keep you interested and intrigued. And the residents have taken it in their stride- Lodhi gardens - the summer palace of some king- has a water body right in the middle of a vast expanse of garden cum forest, a tomb right in the middle of the greenery and what do people do with it?  Use it for morning  walks. There is an Agrasen ki baoli which is right in the middle of connaught place- A damn stepwell in a shopping district. The sheer numbers of monuments which are neglected makes it even more interesting for me than if they had been protected and wrapped in tourist-friendly packaging.

Even the tiniest and most obscure of them give me so much happiness and a sense of joy- almost enough for me to overlook the straight haired "Delhiness" of the people.