How to be Awesome.

Why does self-help always get such a bad rap? Why are people so eager to proclaim that they dont read self-help books or that they have only used "How to win friends and infleunce people" as a paperweight? Its like a status thing- like the anti-apple. You portray that you are this kind of a person by vehemently denying any association with something. I can understand when mega serials, astrology and some weird thing like udayanidi stalin get this kind of a reaction. But to cast self-help books in the same category as megaserials is baffling.

I would understand this if people picked certain self-help guys and said " Oh that guy is terrible, i will never read any of his books" but too many people proclaim "Oh, self-help books are terrible I would never read them" . Maybe some say that because they are too bored to read and know that they wouldnt implement them anyway, but the tones of a lot of people indicate that they dont need a self help book, because they have really got everything they need.

Yes, I assume these people are born leaders, friendly yet stern when required, never procrastinate, never hold grudges, are extremely disciplined and organised , have never watched a single SRK movie in their lives-you know perfect human beings. Yet I find that hard to believe. The same is true of people who never admit to a single error of judgement in the past. Whats more likely-being so perfect that no mistake was made or being so deluded that you continue believing its right?

(And scarily enough, same is true of people who seek therapists assistance in order to help themselves. The amount of stigma attached to it is saddening as much as it is mind boggling. Why would you judge someone who goes to a doctor to feel better? Why is it such a  bad thing to admit that you are not in the best of places mentally and you want that to change? Why do we insist on calling these people pejoratives when there is no clear reason for us to ? Depression is as much a clinical condition as cancer. While cancer is seen as intervention of fate, depression is somehow considered the victim's fault)

I love self-help books. I might not follow most of the things I read but I love to read about it and imagine doing those things. if nothing it helps remind me that there is a huge scope for improvement in my life. I consider reading blogs of unconventional non-conformists in the category of self-help because I feel so thrilled and motivated and inspired when I read those.

Here..The Art of Non Conformity. Help yourself. 

Corpospeak

Yes, its serious discussion time. As it has always been on this blog. What? You had a feeling this wasnt a place for serious things? oh, whatever gave you that impression! Unbate your breath- The topic of discussion today is as serious as it gets- Career. Yes, you heard that right. I am talking about career. (What? No, I didnt hit my head or anything)

So I watched the last lecture by Randy Pausch and was touched (amongst other things) by the fact that he loved what he did for a living. And it shone through his speech. Wow, I wish I was that passionate about selling lightbulbs, I thought to myself. haha,you got me, no i didnt think that. I instead thought "oh god my life is a waste what am i doing oh shit i am going to die and the only thing that remains by way of legacy is... NOTHING oh shit oh shit" and so on. But after the waves in my brain had settled down a bit the question meekly resurfaced. " What is it that you should be doing, as a career"

I distilled the wealth of blogs and articles I read and came to these few points: What you love, your hobby, that which makes you feel like you arent working (Translates to you dont crib on monday morning and you arent depressed sunday night), that which makes a difference to other people's lives significantly in a positive way.

Of these, the last point was the easiest- Pretty much every decent job affects others positively- you arent a waitress- you bring coffee to many people before they get to work. And to realise how important that is, just meet them on a  morning they have been denied coffee. You arent simply laying bricks on a road- You are enabling trading and industry and so on.So pretty much anything that doesnt involve murder or drug dealing you can put a positive spin on. The only group which escaped this is the finance industry- Seriously, what DO you guys do?. But then, why are so few waitresses happy with their work despite knowing that they are so important in the grand scale of things? I have  a theory that you think your contribution is significant only if you bring your personal touch to the work you do. If there is just one way of pouring coffee or laying bricks and you come to teh conclusion that anyone can replace you tomorrow, you will be unhappy with your work. WHich is why I presume professors and researchers are the happiest- they are irreplacable. They might be wrong but they are wrong in a way only they can be.

So, that leaves us with the harder bits. How do you figure out what you do? Some people are extremely lucky to have their talents jump at them at a very young age. They know that they want to be a painter, a pilot, a car mechanic- whatever. The majority of us have to figure out what we want to do with absolutely no or little clue about our talents, abilities,likes and dislikes. As if these problemes werent enough our fickle minds decide midway that "Hmm.. you know this seemed like a reallly good idea a few years back, but now.. THIS SUCKS! I want OUT!" So most of us stumble through life miserably, waiting for weekends like prisoners waiting for their weekly conjugal visits, and are released when we are too old to do anything. We try hobbies, vacations, and other things that clearly target the symptoms and leave the root causes intact.
<Why cant we change our career when we feel like? Society (that nasty bitch!) dictates that you ought to have a stable job, you ought to get these promotions at these times, you ought to switch jobs after a point so that your valuation goes up without giving two hoots about how happy you are. But society also keeps quiet when masses are murdered, when there is injustice all around us so she really really doesnt know what she is talking about. And this is a recurring theme in this blog- You always have to pick yourself over society, you have to pick desires over fear and you have to pick uncertain and interesting over certainly mundane. So, now that the mandatory society bitching is done, we can
get back to the point. >

If you have bothered to listen to other people and what they tell you- particularly those who arent scared of you, you should have a very good idea of what you are good at and what you arent. And pick a career choice based on that.
So I thought hard about all the feedback I have received in my life: And here are the things I am exceptionally good at
1) Being sarcastic
2) Being lazy
3) Being mean to people who are stupid ( or those who dont agree with me-SAME THING BITCHES)
And here are the things which are areas of improvement ( Corpo-speak for "You suck at these things")
1) People skills
2) Negotiation skills
3) Discipline
4) Being organised and smart
5) Decision making
6) Networking
Etc
So after analysing my strengths and weaknesses I have come to the conclusion that I should become a host for News Night on Times now. . SIGH! Apparently thats already taken!

Seriously though ( yes guys, I wasnt kidding when I said this is a serious post) I tried and tried to come up with a role that would fit my personality. There is just nothing feasible. So like a prisoner who decides to make the best of his conjugal visits ( pardon my analogy) I have decided to work on my hobbies, my vacations ( which will henceforth be referred to as travels to give the impression of it being less frivolous and more educated. In other words- more history, less drinking).

And in the footsteps of the past me that has declared the same thing multiple times and failed miserably most times and less miserably other times, I have decided to work harder on my blog. Fret not, dear readers! All your miseries shall end, for, I have decided to update this blog EVERYDAY. Yes, you heard that right- EVERYDAY. Like a dose of morning coffee that gives you nausea, like an early morning jog in a park filled with dog shit, this blog will be a part of your daily routine in ways you never thought possible ( and didnt really want, honestly)

But wait, this was supposed to be a career post no? YOU !!*angrily shakes fist at ADHD* 

Where did the weekend go?

"When you are eighty, it seems like you have breakfast every five minutes" said some old guy (I think) 

You must agree that time is flying faster as you grow older. Ever remember thinking "wow where did all thse months go" while you were in school? Now it seems as if you just got used to writing 2014 in cheque books and its already time to start changing to 2015. What has changed from then? You still have 12 months every year. and 7 days every week. Why do some of these days whiz past with no trace of them ever having been there? 

The answer lies in one word: Memories. 

When you were young, you were doing new things and you were making memories. And the days seemed longer. As you have grown older, without memories to mark your time, it seems like its all one big blur. You will be able to attest to this with your own weekdays. They remain indistinguishable from one another-your brain doesnt think it worthy enough to secure a space. 

In contrast, think of your vacations-If you have done different things on holiday, you can vouch for the fact that on a Friday, your Monday looks soo far behind, suuch a loong time back and quite a distance away new things done and  the new memories accumulated have occupied a substantial space in your brain. And by definition, the more memories you accumulate in your mental drawer, the longer the time seems. 

There, your simple way to stop time whoosh past you. Stop. Do new things. Do things that are rememberable. Until the lab coats figure out how to transfer your brain to a computer so you can immortalise yourself, this is the only possible way of extending your life.