Prologue
The decision hung above his head like a bomb ready to drop on his head. He thought both of them were... just fiine, really. J was an accomplished singer, a quiet, industrious and pleasant girl who was obviously his parents pick. The other one - S, was a pretty, bubbly, enthusiastic girl and was friendly and pleasant. How was he supposed to choose? " Go with your gut" advised his friend and resident grandmother Ira. But he didnt know how to think with his gut, heart and other body parts. He could only think with his head and the only thing his head repeatedly told him was that The Great Indian Arranged Marriage Process was completely flawed and it had no idea how to rank two seemingly reasonable women and pick one as a partner for life.
1.
He was happily married. Rather, he was married and his parents were happy. More than happy, in fact, for he had chosen J. She would make a great daughter-in-law, gushed his mother clearly oblivious to what was going to happen in just a couple of months. J's quiet industriousness hid behind it a steel-like stubbornness which would grate on his parents, especially his mom. But he had no problem with it-He saw it as independence. He liked strong women- "at any rate it was better than hanging around with a clingy needy crybaby" he thought to himself. They gave each other space, she pursued her interests while he found time for the love of his life- squash. With time, their marriage became happier and his parents became more and more unhappy with their daughter-in-law.
**
He was happily married. He didnt know what those words meant, but he assumed it was what he felt. She was friendly, sociable and charming- he was charmed. Whats more, she charmed his parents too. The same parents who hadnt been taken in by her profile and horoscope were soo taken in by her person. While she got on really well with everyone, she placed an unreasonable demand on him to return the favour. She was highly dependent on him emotionally and always wanted him to be aorund. But he had no problem with it- As long as she gets along well with everyone and doesnt fight, he thought to himself, there is no harm in humouring her with my time. They grew closer because she left him with no choice, but they were very happy together as well.
2.
He was getting annoyed with J's way of dealing with money. Fine, he had no problem with being economical but there was fine line between economical and miserly and J was treading the line, inclining towards miserliness. He didnt understand it, its not like they didnt have enough. Both were earning well enough, they had no other commitments - what was wrong with a little fine dining now and then? Why did they always have to eat healthy food at home? " Are you going to build a palace with all this money you are going to be saving? " he asked her in half-jest one day. She looked at him dead seriously and sent " Not a palace. But at least a three bedroom apartment with spacious balconies. And you know property prices these days". While he had always assumed he would buy a house, a vehicle and all that it rankled a bit twhen he realised that he was a grown up. He missed his youth. He looked wistfully at the carefree couple on the road sharing their ice-cream and wondered why he couldnt be like them.
**
He was annoyed with S's way of dealing with money. Actually "dealing with money" is a very generous expression for what she was doing which was closer to simply throwing it away. He didnt understand it- how much did she think he was earning? And while it was OK to eat out once in a while, what wa sthe need to do it all the time? Wasnt it also unhealthy? he wondered as they walked back home eating the expensive ice-cream she bought. Still, he didnt dare to say anything to her about how he thought maybe they should start saving some money if they ever thought they should buy a house or settle down in the traditional sense. As he was thinking about this S chirped " Hey, we should go to Thailand this year for your annual vacations". He looked at her in disbelief and wondered if now was the right time to explain the concept of savings to her.
3.
Her economy with money notwithstanding, his life with her was peaceful. They never fought much- they were both too logical for shouting matches. But she more than made up for it by being stubborn with his mom. When they did buy that new house, in a surprisingly short time, she squarely ignored her mother-in-law's instructions about moving in at an auspicious time and jsut chose a time that was convenient for both of them. His mom was happy on winning the unsaid contest she was having with her peers as to whose kids would buy a large house first. Despite acquiring bragging rights, she was so pissed that she refused to come to his house until the requisite poojas were completed. While he didnt believe in all these superstitions, he wished J was a bit more tolerant and less rebellious, for he relished peace much more than he valued rationality. But like most problems, it got sorted with time. Whats more- he loved the house. Sitting in the big balcony on Saturday mornings, sipping tea, it did seem like all was right with the world.
**
S was always all about new places, new experiences. And life was always a roller coaster with her around. She took him on wild emotional rides, screaming one moment, hugging him the next- he had no idea what to expect. She wanted to see the world, and he had no option but to tag along. He knew buying a house was a distant dream. He did love their trips, too- who wouldnt enjoy seeing cheetahs up close or sippimg cocktails in Thailand? Whose minds wouldnt be broadened meeting with locals in Philippines? His parents didnt seem to mind that while their peers kids were doing the right things and buying houses, she was taking them along on a South East Asia trip. As he watched the multicolored sunset from their beach bungalow in Borocay, the voices of his mom and S discussiing some obscure thing in the background, it did seem like all was right with the world.
4.
J wasnt pretty, he knew that. Neither was he ever considered goodlooking. And had no problems with it, for he knew there were far more important things that mattered. Like actually mattered. And in all those things she scored incredibly high. Nobody is perfect, but in things that were significant, he thought she was.
**
He kept staring at S as she was trying to pick the perfect necklace from the flea market. How he got married to someone so beyond his league, he would never know. While she had her flaws,(well, didnt everyone) she showed him the world, helping him discover who he was. And he wouldnt be the person he was, without her. In that sense, she created him.
Epilogue.
Few days later he met his friend M for a quick lunch. M was most curious to know how his first year of marriage had been and if it was the type of "happily ever after" they showed in movies. "Well, its obviously not happily ever after " he told his friend with a shrug " But its great. I wouldnt change a single thing".
PS: This is obviously inspired Lionel Shrivers The post birthday world, where she deals with in great detail, the eternal dilemma- Do you choose Mr Reliable or Mr Exciting?. This is just my poor take on the whole thing. And while it might seem like a gen boring story, it brings to light one trick the mind uses called "Rationalisation" to justify our decisions after we have taken them. The protagonist thinks his life is perfect, because he is not thinking about the other parallel universes. And if he stopped to think and analyse about every parallel universe, some of them undeniably better than the present one, he would most definitely go mad.
PPS: J can be considered staid and sometimes boring just like Lawrence was, in the book. The justification the author gave was that while it seems that he is a bit rigid and boring from the outside, it is the kind of thing that love usually becomes when it lasts. It might be boring for someone reading about the couple, but for the couple themselves its just nice and peaceful.
The decision hung above his head like a bomb ready to drop on his head. He thought both of them were... just fiine, really. J was an accomplished singer, a quiet, industrious and pleasant girl who was obviously his parents pick. The other one - S, was a pretty, bubbly, enthusiastic girl and was friendly and pleasant. How was he supposed to choose? " Go with your gut" advised his friend and resident grandmother Ira. But he didnt know how to think with his gut, heart and other body parts. He could only think with his head and the only thing his head repeatedly told him was that The Great Indian Arranged Marriage Process was completely flawed and it had no idea how to rank two seemingly reasonable women and pick one as a partner for life.
1.
He was happily married. Rather, he was married and his parents were happy. More than happy, in fact, for he had chosen J. She would make a great daughter-in-law, gushed his mother clearly oblivious to what was going to happen in just a couple of months. J's quiet industriousness hid behind it a steel-like stubbornness which would grate on his parents, especially his mom. But he had no problem with it-He saw it as independence. He liked strong women- "at any rate it was better than hanging around with a clingy needy crybaby" he thought to himself. They gave each other space, she pursued her interests while he found time for the love of his life- squash. With time, their marriage became happier and his parents became more and more unhappy with their daughter-in-law.
**
He was happily married. He didnt know what those words meant, but he assumed it was what he felt. She was friendly, sociable and charming- he was charmed. Whats more, she charmed his parents too. The same parents who hadnt been taken in by her profile and horoscope were soo taken in by her person. While she got on really well with everyone, she placed an unreasonable demand on him to return the favour. She was highly dependent on him emotionally and always wanted him to be aorund. But he had no problem with it- As long as she gets along well with everyone and doesnt fight, he thought to himself, there is no harm in humouring her with my time. They grew closer because she left him with no choice, but they were very happy together as well.
2.
He was getting annoyed with J's way of dealing with money. Fine, he had no problem with being economical but there was fine line between economical and miserly and J was treading the line, inclining towards miserliness. He didnt understand it, its not like they didnt have enough. Both were earning well enough, they had no other commitments - what was wrong with a little fine dining now and then? Why did they always have to eat healthy food at home? " Are you going to build a palace with all this money you are going to be saving? " he asked her in half-jest one day. She looked at him dead seriously and sent " Not a palace. But at least a three bedroom apartment with spacious balconies. And you know property prices these days". While he had always assumed he would buy a house, a vehicle and all that it rankled a bit twhen he realised that he was a grown up. He missed his youth. He looked wistfully at the carefree couple on the road sharing their ice-cream and wondered why he couldnt be like them.
**
He was annoyed with S's way of dealing with money. Actually "dealing with money" is a very generous expression for what she was doing which was closer to simply throwing it away. He didnt understand it- how much did she think he was earning? And while it was OK to eat out once in a while, what wa sthe need to do it all the time? Wasnt it also unhealthy? he wondered as they walked back home eating the expensive ice-cream she bought. Still, he didnt dare to say anything to her about how he thought maybe they should start saving some money if they ever thought they should buy a house or settle down in the traditional sense. As he was thinking about this S chirped " Hey, we should go to Thailand this year for your annual vacations". He looked at her in disbelief and wondered if now was the right time to explain the concept of savings to her.
3.
Her economy with money notwithstanding, his life with her was peaceful. They never fought much- they were both too logical for shouting matches. But she more than made up for it by being stubborn with his mom. When they did buy that new house, in a surprisingly short time, she squarely ignored her mother-in-law's instructions about moving in at an auspicious time and jsut chose a time that was convenient for both of them. His mom was happy on winning the unsaid contest she was having with her peers as to whose kids would buy a large house first. Despite acquiring bragging rights, she was so pissed that she refused to come to his house until the requisite poojas were completed. While he didnt believe in all these superstitions, he wished J was a bit more tolerant and less rebellious, for he relished peace much more than he valued rationality. But like most problems, it got sorted with time. Whats more- he loved the house. Sitting in the big balcony on Saturday mornings, sipping tea, it did seem like all was right with the world.
**
S was always all about new places, new experiences. And life was always a roller coaster with her around. She took him on wild emotional rides, screaming one moment, hugging him the next- he had no idea what to expect. She wanted to see the world, and he had no option but to tag along. He knew buying a house was a distant dream. He did love their trips, too- who wouldnt enjoy seeing cheetahs up close or sippimg cocktails in Thailand? Whose minds wouldnt be broadened meeting with locals in Philippines? His parents didnt seem to mind that while their peers kids were doing the right things and buying houses, she was taking them along on a South East Asia trip. As he watched the multicolored sunset from their beach bungalow in Borocay, the voices of his mom and S discussiing some obscure thing in the background, it did seem like all was right with the world.
4.
J wasnt pretty, he knew that. Neither was he ever considered goodlooking. And had no problems with it, for he knew there were far more important things that mattered. Like actually mattered. And in all those things she scored incredibly high. Nobody is perfect, but in things that were significant, he thought she was.
**
He kept staring at S as she was trying to pick the perfect necklace from the flea market. How he got married to someone so beyond his league, he would never know. While she had her flaws,(well, didnt everyone) she showed him the world, helping him discover who he was. And he wouldnt be the person he was, without her. In that sense, she created him.
Epilogue.
Few days later he met his friend M for a quick lunch. M was most curious to know how his first year of marriage had been and if it was the type of "happily ever after" they showed in movies. "Well, its obviously not happily ever after " he told his friend with a shrug " But its great. I wouldnt change a single thing".
PS: This is obviously inspired Lionel Shrivers The post birthday world, where she deals with in great detail, the eternal dilemma- Do you choose Mr Reliable or Mr Exciting?. This is just my poor take on the whole thing. And while it might seem like a gen boring story, it brings to light one trick the mind uses called "Rationalisation" to justify our decisions after we have taken them. The protagonist thinks his life is perfect, because he is not thinking about the other parallel universes. And if he stopped to think and analyse about every parallel universe, some of them undeniably better than the present one, he would most definitely go mad.
PPS: J can be considered staid and sometimes boring just like Lawrence was, in the book. The justification the author gave was that while it seems that he is a bit rigid and boring from the outside, it is the kind of thing that love usually becomes when it lasts. It might be boring for someone reading about the couple, but for the couple themselves its just nice and peaceful.
