The way I read books

Self-criticism is perhaps my most enduring hobby. If there is one thing thats exempt from my self-criticism, its my reading habit. I love books and reading and I read a lot of them.  I am not sure if I recall everything or (sometimes if i can recall anything) from books I have read, but there is not an iota of doubt that books have made me who I am. 

Like everyone else I have phases when I cant read more than one page, when I am too distracted to absorb what I am reading etc. Despite these, I manage to read a lot. Here is how. 

1. At any point, I read what I feel like. This means that I go through my Kindle library and pick whatever I am in the mood for.  This also means that I have way too many books in progress. Sometimes the books get to the stage where they draw you in, and I finish the rest of the book in the next couple of days. 

2. I read different things at different times. Mornings I can handle heavier deeper books, if I read in the afternoon its mostly lighter essays. Unless some non-fiction book is really interesting, I read fiction in the nights. 

3. I typically read fiction when I have long stretches of time such as a free weekend or a vacation. Fiction requires you to enter a different world,  and thats easier when your world doesnt demand much from you. 

4. I listen to audiobooks to fall asleep and when I take a walk. A lot of times I re-listen to audiobooks. 

5. I re-read books I loved. I always get a lot more in the re-reading than I do in my first time. I am also able to finish the book faster. I skip bits that I dont love and go deeper into the bits I do. 

6. I spend quite a bit of time picking books. Reddit's "suggestmeabook", Amazon's recommended books, Guardian book recos are all my sources. Everytime I come across something interesting I download the sample. In bits of time I read the samples to get a flavour of whether I will like the book or not. 

7. I dont worry much about the count of books read. The metric I use is the time I spend reading. And since I dont spend even one minute reading stuff I dont like/enjoy, it works out great. 

8. There are times when I dont read anything serious- I can go for weeks reading fluff after fluff. I dont worry that I am reading only light books ( like Liane Moriarty) I know its a phase and that I will get back to other "serious" books. 

9. I am currently going through an Alaska, Hawaii phase. I have a bunch of books set in Alaska and Hawaii that I have downloaded samples of, some of which I have bought. 

10. I have tons of unread, barely started, half-read books in my library. If I dont like a book I delete it from my list. Some books I will get back to and finish at a much later point in time and some books I havent yet gone back but I may eventually.  So every book thats on my Kindle is a book I like at some level. 

11. I read way too many of " how to focus" " how to manage your time better" kind of books than can possibly be good for me. 

10 Things about Artificial Intelligence

Rereading the Shallows made me think a bit deeper about Artificial Intelligence and I realised I have way too many questions and doubts about AI. 

1. When we say we are trying to create an AI future, are we replicating one human or are we replicating the whole of humanity? If its the latter it means we have to have diverse enough AIs to be able to duplicate the diversity of thought and character present in humans. 

2. AI with a definite purpose, will soon become better than humans at that purpose- For ex identifying a certain component or even AI to build a house , I think they will overtake humans in those abilities fairly soon. But AIs that can become humans, I dont think thats anywhere near, in our future

3. Most of human experience is wondering about what others think.  Its about insecurity, anxiety, greed, hope, happiness, stress and sleep deprivation. Even if AI can reasonably simulate some of it, I am doubtful of its abilities to do all. We can program a machine to be hungry for information but can it ever feel wonder or curiosity? 

4. Douglas Adams was a genius when he created Marvin the depressed whiny robot- Thats the ultimate achievement of AI . 

5. Other things that one would need to program is our dynamics with other humans that creates the fabric of our experience. AI will need to have that which means we will have machines that are jealous of one another therefore dont reveal everything, machines that act as if they hate the other one when they are actually in love. 

6. When we eventually do simulate things in point 5, the AI will not be optimised for efficiency, it will be optimised to be human ie irrational & inefficient- so, why would we even need that AI? We can just make more humans the way we are currently. 

7. Downloading your thoughts on to a computer and living forever in a brain is one of the most loathsome ideas for me. I hope I die before those technologies come to pass. 

8. When I was thinking about AI, I realised that AI will be able to have the exact same sensory inputs and experiences as humans. Humans choose to perceive only a few of those- For ex in my visual field I see a lot of things but I focus on the bee flying around the bird. Similarly while I do experience the sense of my feet on the ground, I am not aware of it always. The AI will have to always have a system that is filtering what to perceive and what to ignore. Aside from the fact it is complicated by us sometimes choosing to focus on something random for no reason, or choosing to be aware of it when we read about it, it also means that the AI has to have a mind ,that makes these decisions and is  influenced a certain bit by the sensory inputs too. 

9. Our mind is an emergent property of the way our body is wired. So I dont know how we can design an AI mind that functions exactly the way an emergent mind would. 

10. Of course I am completely unaware of the actual progress  happening in this field and its possible that a lot of these issues I am atalking about are resolved. Looking at the quality of chatbots and other AI applications though, am kind of sure its not. 

10 non-cynical things

Whenever I am stuck for things to write, I think of things I sneer at. Things that I feel others are doing wrong or are not seeing that I, in my supreme wisdom and clarity, am able to see. And then the words flow. For this post, I am trying to write about the quotidian and the wondrous and see if I can drum up 10. 

1. Nature isnt just transformative experiences and polar bears. Its also the aggressive cancer that sneaks up on your liver, its the rodent that invades your kitchen, its the  bug that you ingest, that drains you so much that you need to crawl to the loo. ( Inspired by Kathleen Jamie- Sightlines) 

2. Whenever we see a video or hear an audio of ourselves we are so appalled- I thought I moved faster than that on the court, I didnt realise how fat I was, Is that really how I sound, etc etc. Then why is introspection so hyped? Surely we dont know anything about ourselves? Isnt it better to ask people who are observing us?

3. Most statements made are not fully true. By which I dont mean they are lies, but that they dont apply all the time, to everyone, across all situations. For ex in point 2- obviously some people benefit by introspection, some problems may be solved by introspection- thats not the point. The point is asking other people ( friends , family etc) in a purposeful way. 

4. Have recently been fascinated by navigation without technology- the way people earlier used to navigate by stars, by birds, by natural landmarks- not that I need to go anywhere anyway. Or that I will be able to follow a star and reach the office or my friends house. But only in my current house have I noticed that the place of the sun set varies with the seasons and the stars move around the sky quicker than I had imagined. When we move to a new place we quickly learn the landscape, where is the nearest grocery store, the hospital and we orient ourselves in the new place fully.  The sky and the stars which are with us always, we barely have any clue of. But I can hear you saying we need the grocery store and the hospital , we dont need the stars. 

5. I hate cats. I respect them a lot though, because it feels like they understand that I hate them. They make angry eye contact before slinking away. They are graceful and regal, but somehow I dont like them at all. Not even kittens. 

6. A small streak of unhappy can color your otherwise happy day, but a small streak of happy rarely brightens up an otherwise harried day. Does 2 mins of mindfulness counter the rest of the stressed, distracted state? 

7. What do birds do all day? Just chill? We have a few birds that diligently wake up from their spots in our Eucalyptus tree and come back around 5:30-6. Curious where they go and what their day job involves. 

8. Am so jealous of people living in Britain, Ireland, Scotland etc- anyone who is not living in cities. They have access to so much wilderness, so much trails and woods to get lost in. Those of us in cities especially some of us unfortunate enough to be living in dusty Indian cities can only sigh in longing. 

9. As someone who is by herself a lot of the time, I didnt think reading horror would be a big deal. When I have lived by myself in the past, I have watched horror movies and not had a problem sleeping alone. The Haunting of Hill house was a slightly different matter. I began to wonder if the house I am currently in is evil and the general sounds and silences outside took on a rather sinister aura. But am glad that it didnt interfere in my sleep. 

10. I cant stand Anne Helen Petersen's whining. I read an article called "Should we be working during a coup" and I found it to be the most whiny,  entitled post ever. She seems to believe that no one except millenials has any problems in life and all millenial problems involve over working. This post in particular spoke about how a lot of people were forced to continue working on the day of the Capitol protests even though they felt anxious and distracted. She also tells that a lot of the bosses asked people to take it light on that day, so I am not sure what exactly her problem is. People exercised, people fed their kids and made meals and had them on that day, so why would you not be expected to work? All over the world when there are things happening politically in the country, that work day is colored by that. But everyone knows that and adjusts their expectations accordingly. AHP instead writes a whiny essay. 

Point 10 is cynical, but it was something gnawing on me so I had to get it out. 

10 Random Things

 1) Looking at the horrid unkempt mess our lawn has become, I wonder how the original forests even had a chance to flourish. How is the Amazon forest not just a jumble of weeds? Every single useful plant in our lawn has either been eaten by aphids, overtaken by weeds or dried out ( the last one is my fault :D) 

2) For all the discussion and encouragement about getting out of your comfort zone, I realised what a comfort zone slut I am. I didnt move from my comfortable sofa even when the sun was shining bright (the spot was much cosier in the winter, the summer sun is obviously not as gentle)  and ended up with a headache. I felt the headache coming on, yet didnt move. 

3) My time and attention are being pulled apart in a 100 directions from external requirements but the biggest enemy of my concentration is still my own mind. Am so appalled at my phone stats- I would rather reveal my weight before revealing the number of hours I spent on my phone or the number of times I clicked on apps 

4) Spending time in nature is the only time the hedonic treadmill fails. I can never get used to it.

5) The only forward that I have ever received that has been helpful is a one-liner from my friend - Procrastination doesnt make it go away. Doing it makes it go away. So simple, yet sooo powerful. 

6)Its Feb 2021 already. Surprised at how far I have come, without having achieved anything. 

7) I should be experiencing a strong mid-life crisis, but maybe I am too distracted to have one. 

8) Digital detox one day wont work- Its like eating healthy one day while bingeing on junk the other 6 days. 

9) I dont know if its the nature of my job, or its what I have become but I dont remember the last time I thought hard and came up with a solution. Everything has mostly been superficial problem solving ( picking one from a list of possible solutions) or  firefighting. 

10) Most books that are about A year I spent living in rural France, or how I moved out of Silicon valley to start a yoga retreat in Brazil have something inherently deceptive. The authors make it seem like they did all of this and then decided the experience was valuable enough for them to write a book about it. The fact however is that its clear from the book that they were preparing to write the book all along. How else do you remember how exactly you felt standing at the SFO airport? Or your description of your co-passengers?  Its absolutely OK to have been taking notes that you one day hope becomes a book, so why cant you just say that upfront? You may ask how it matters- But when you note down feelings for a journal its more real than when you note down feelings for a possible future book. You are in some sense performing it for an audience. 

11) My rant in previous point does not by any means make any of these books less enjoyable.