Wednesday, August 25, 2021

The urge to consume and the resistance to create

 Its no new topic- Its perhaps my favourite and least favorite thing to write about- I carry it like a disease I despise, yet have lived with it for so long that its become a part of my identity. Its the online content consumption. 

And its deadlier cousin- consuming content about overdose of content consumption, how you can reduce your content consumption etc. Its a real spiral I tell you. 

Anyhow as a part of my resolution to become more mindful I ahve strated to notice my urges to consume stuff. I cant seem to be in a room by myself. I feel like I am wasting time if I am not listening to some podcast. However this thought doesnt seem to come when I am cruising down some useless rabbithole middle of teh day. The worst bit is that not doing something useful feels guilty when it doesnt have to, and doesnt when I absolutely should be feeling guilty. 

Detox is what everyone suggests but I want a way to integrate this in my life without having to resort to extremes. I have realised I dont do any activity without being distracted. Even in the middle of this post, I took a break to send something to a colleague ( that I was supposed to send yesterday, btw). 

Forgetfulness, followed by feeling ashamed. Its crippling. 

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